Nearly 100 billion spam emails are now sent every day, thanks to the combined forces of enormous computing power, ingenious programmers and evil exploitative criminals.
I know what you’re thinking. Many of those spam emails end up in your inbox. But wait, you’re one of the lucky ones. You’re not on the STUPID list.
STUPID stands for Spam Targeting by Unscrupulous People of the Incredibly Dumb.
It’s easy to get onto the STUPID list. All you have to do is follow the instructions of those helpful people phoning from the “Computer Technical Department” to tell you that your computer has a virus. Or you might agree to help a nice Nigerian widow move some money into your bank account. Or perhaps you’ve purchased a bumper supply of manhood-enhancing natural miracle herbs.
I don’t know exactly what I did, but it must have been something really mind-blowingly gobsmackingly stupid, because I am now officially on the STUPID list. As a result I’m getting emails like this one:
The First FREE ENERGY GENERATOR – Humiliates Top Scientists!!!
Now a free energy generator sounds awfully useful, what with rising electricity prices and so I read on …
Revealed the first energy generator thats
violates all law of physics and humiliates
top scientists even after 84 years..
Big Energy shut us down 6 months ago…
but now we`re back, and we`re here to stay.
So this is an interesting sales tactic. The email doesn’t pretend that this is a reputable product that has passed any kind of test. Instead it appeals directly to the most irrational kind of beliefs possible. And that’s smart, because that’s exactly how the kind of person most likely to respond to this advert really thinks.
This device actually violates science! Awesome! Because you can’t trust scientists. We know they lied to us about Darwinism and putting a man on the Moon, now it turns out that the laws of thermodynamics are BS too.
And Big Energy shut them down! Shocking! But really no surprise, because Big Energy and their friends in Big Government want to shut us all down for good.
Anyway, I searched the web for “The First FREE ENERGY GENERATOR” and was astonished to discover a website with detailed technical drawings of the device, listing components and explaining how it works (the untapped natural resource of magnetism, free energy thrust, the Universal Force, …)
So it turns out it’s a real invention. If you want to buy one, please leave your email address in the comments below, and I’ll be in touch with some more great offers just for you.