I’m on the STUPID list

Nearly 100 billion spam emails are now sent every day, thanks to the combined forces of enormous computing power, ingenious programmers and evil exploitative criminals.

I know what you’re thinking. Many of those spam emails end up in your inbox. But wait, you’re one of the lucky ones. You’re not on the STUPID list.

STUPID stands for Spam Targeting by Unscrupulous People of the Incredibly Dumb.

It’s easy to get onto the STUPID list. All you have to do is follow the instructions of those helpful people phoning from the “Computer Technical Department” to tell you that your computer has a virus. Or you might agree to help a nice Nigerian widow move some money into your bank account. Or perhaps you’ve purchased a bumper supply of manhood-enhancing natural miracle herbs.

I don’t know exactly what I did, but it must have been something really mind-blowingly gobsmackingly stupid, because I am now officially on the STUPID list. As a result I’m getting emails like this one:

The First FREE ENERGY GENERATOR – Humiliates Top Scientists!!!

Now a free energy generator sounds awfully useful, what with rising electricity prices and so I read on …

Revealed the first energy generator thats
violates all law of physics and humiliates
top scientists even after 84 years..

Big Energy shut us down 6 months ago…
but now we`re back, and we`re here to stay.

So this is an interesting sales tactic. The email doesn’t pretend that this is a reputable product that has passed any kind of test. Instead it appeals directly to the most irrational kind of beliefs possible. And that’s smart, because that’s exactly how the kind of person most likely to respond to this advert really thinks.

This device actually violates science! Awesome! Because you can’t trust scientists. We know they lied to us about Darwinism and putting a man on the Moon, now it turns out that the laws of thermodynamics are BS too.

And Big Energy shut them down! Shocking! But really no surprise, because Big Energy and their friends in Big Government want to shut us all down for good.

Anyway, I searched the web for “The First FREE ENERGY GENERATOR” and was astonished to discover a website with detailed technical drawings of the device, listing components and explaining how it works (the untapped natural resource of magnetism, free energy thrustthe Universal Force, …)

So it turns out it’s a real invention. If you want to buy one, please leave your email address in the comments below, and I’ll be in touch with some more great offers just for you.

9 responses to “I’m on the STUPID list

  1. Karsten Schmitz

    So, in the last paragraph of your blog, you’re offering to sell one of these inventions. Am I oblivious to any sarcasm that might be there or are you serious? Because I am interested if you are serious.

    • Karsten, now I am totally confused. I can’t tell if you’re joking or not (I was). Let me spell it out. It makes no difference how these energy generation machines are designed, whether they are electrical, mechanical, magnetic or chemical. You can’t get free energy.

      The first law of thermodynamics says that the total amount of energy in a system is fixed. You cannot create energy out of nothing.

      The second law of thermodynamics is even worse. It states that you can never return to the same energy state you started with. As soon as you switch on a machine it starts to convert energy into waste heat. You have to supply energy to it just to keep it working. You can’t even break even.

      Real energy generation machines (steam engines, solar power, wind turbines, nuclear power stations) convert one kind of energy into another. Chemical energy from coal, electromagnetic energy from the sun, mechanical energy from wind, nuclear energy from uranium. You need a source of energy. You can’t get free energy out of nothing.

      Even hypothetical sci-fi devices like matter-antimatter reactors or dark energy reactors draw energy from some source to convert into another.

      That’s the science.

      If you were serious about wanting to buy one of these machines, and if I haven’t convinced you that it’s bad idea, then please buy one and then report back here with your experiences.

  2. Loved the article! But can I just say that I loved the above comments more? 😛

    • Sometimes I feel there are just a few of us on a tiny island in a great ocean of ignorance.

      • “like”*
        *I wish there was a like button so I wouldn’t have to reply with something stupid like:
        1. Yeah, we could use the tidal waves to generate “free energy” (secretly implying to scam the ignorant).
        2. “Global warming” (Global propagation of stupidity. Ex: Snooki, Honey Boo Boo etc.) is causing this island to shrink further.
        3. Good shit bro! (This one though is fine I guess 😛 )

  3. @Steve Morris

    The first law of thermodynamics says that the total amount
    of energy in a system is fixed. You cannot create energy
    out of nothing.

    There is NO SUCH THING like a closed “system”.
    And you should know this.
    These man-made rules are NOT the ultimate wisdom, far from it.
    Come on, these outdated rules may apply to some extent to closed MECHANICAL systems.
    But they are completely useless to describe particle flow and interaction on quantum level, magnetic viscosity or the avalanche-like (like chain reaction) magnetization of core materials like permalloy or metglas through impulse current.

    As long as the core material is above absolute zero temperature, it is of course possible to convert environmental heat energy into electrical current.

    So is this ocean of energy FREE? It all depends what FREE means to you.
    It is as free as sunlight, the wind and rain.

  4. It’s too good read comments talking about the Jurassic laws of thermodynamics when we know that the military use free energy for over 50 years. The most of you are stuck in the past in books do not teach anything else. What a shame! What future the most off you have been unaware of what exists in the quantum vacuum? No future for you. Zero for you. If only one of you can explain how Charles Lindbergh toured New York – Paris at 33.5 hours in 1927 in a small plane, traveling 4000 miles without stopping for fuel, whereas a Cessna produced in 1962 consumes 75 liters of fuel, would be required more than 2000 liters of fuel. Where he took all this fuel? In the laws of thermodynamics? For your good, wake up!

    • According to Wikipedia, the US Department of Defense is one of the largest single consumers of energy in the world, responsible for 93% of all US government fuel consumption. Again from Wikipedia, Lindbergh’s Spirit of St. Louis had a 46-foot wingspan, 10 feet longer than the M-1 on which it was based, to accommodate the heavy load of 425 gallons of fuel. Lindbergh took steps to eliminate all unnecessary weight, even flying without a radio.
      If you are confident in your free energy machine, I suggest that you start selling it and become a billionaire, rather than wasting your time on my blog, arguing with a physicist.

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