He smirked for the camera, and I thought, “Loser!”
Why? Because failing to fail is the greatest failure of all.
Let me explain. I’ve been around long enough to try my hand at lots of different things. And because I’m an ambitious, competitive kind of person, I tend to bite off more than I can chew. Sometimes things go well, sometimes not. Is that because I take on tasks that I’m not qualified to do? No, it’s because I try to do things that are hard.
After all, if you don’t push yourself to new levels you probably won’t fail, but you won’t achieve everything you’re fully capable of either. I’m not going to boast about my achievements here. You don’t want to hear about that. My failures are much more interesting.
I failed my PhD. That pushed me along a new and unexpected career path that turned into a huge adventure. I tried and failed to build a new kind of search engine that could one day replace Google. That taught me a lot – about technology, about start-ups and about patent law. I wrote a novel that nobody wanted to publish. Maybe that’s one reason why I’m a blogger today. Failure in one endeavour can lead directly to success elsewhere.
So failures are character building and they help to define what a person is more than success. Success just measures what someone did. Their failures measure what they might have done if things had worked out a little differently. Failure reveals the scope of our ambition and desire. And perhaps most importantly of all, failure guides us along a path to greater future success (and perhaps greater future failure.)
It was Bill Gates who famously said, “Success is a lousy teacher.” Bill Gates is a man who knows a thing or two about success. But he’s made his fair share of mistakes too. Running one of the biggest companies in the history of the world isn’t easy (I’m guessing now, you understand), and Microsoft certainly made a fatal error in ignoring the growth of the internet for what seemed like an insanely long time. Yet this is the same man who became the richest person in the world.
What about Donald Trump? In the eighties he was a spectacularly successful property developer, then he went bankrupt owing billions of dollars to creditors. Now he’s a multi-billionaire once again.
Big Success. Big failure. They seem to go well together. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
The most common regret people have on their death bed isn’t what they did in life – it’s what they didn’t do. Don’t let that happen to you. Reach for your dreams. Don’t let people tell you it won’t work. Try to do things that are hard. Because even if you fail, it will still be better than if you never tried.
And so my message to that young guy on reality TV is this: if you haven’t failed yet, you really haven’t been trying very hard.