Talking to myself 2013

facetofaceSteve: So, Steve, it’s that time of year again.

Steve: Yeah, time for partying!

Steve: No, I was thinking about the annual review of this blog.

Steve: OK, let’s do it!

Steve: Well, how’s the blog going?

Steve: Good. I now have over 500 minions!

Steve: I think you mean followers, Steve. Please don’t talk like that or people will think you’re crazy.

Steve: What, and talking to myself means that I’m totally not crazy?

Steve: All bloggers talk to themselves. It’s what blogging’s all about. Now, last year, you used this exercise as an excuse to deliver some kind of pompous speech.

Steve: It was New Year’s Eve. I’d had a glass of something.

Steve: I want none of that kind of behaviour this year. In any case, there have been complaints.

Steve: What? Who made them?

Steve: Calm down, they aren’t real complaints. They are complaints I have imagined.

Steve: Oh, yes. I imagine those kinds of complaints too, whenever I write an article.

Steve: The first complaint is that this blog has no focus. You break the cardinal rule of blogging. You just jump from one random thought to another, without developing a theme.

Steve: Hmm, sorry? What did you say? I was thinking about something else.

Steve: Never mind. The second complaint is about your use of swear words.

Steve: Sorry, I hope they don’t offend.

Steve: Hmm. And that brings me to my third complaint. Offensiveness. You preach a message of tolerance and universal love and then you go off and offend some fucker! What’s with that?

Steve: OK, I would like to take this opportunity to say that I really don’t try to be offensive, or to swear. It’s just that I have strong views and sometimes it just happens. I don’t mean anything personally. Also, I can be quite immature at times.

Steve: You’ve had to apologise on at least two occasions this year.

Steve: I’m sorry. I’ll try not to do it again.

Steve: Good.

Steve: Now, last year you said that we might do this interview as a video this time.

Steve: Sorry, I couldn’t be bothered. It was too much work.

Steve: OK, and finally, do you have a New Year message for your readers? Please don’t spout a load of pretentious crap like you did last year.

Steve: I’d just like to say thank you to everyone who has visited this blog and taken a moment out of their lives to listen in to my innermost thoughts. I am humbled by that, and I want to wish you all a peaceful and productive 2014!

Steve: Thank you, Steve, and do try to be less narcissistic in future.

17 responses to “Talking to myself 2013

  1. Yeah, I definitely don’t like the swearing. Had it been in the first post I read, living with chronic fatigue syndrome, I may not have followed you. It is a tough call though, because you followed me first and have been my biggest fan. Thank you for that. Have a great 2014 and try to behave yourself!

  2. Very clever. I have conversations with myself like this all the time. The trouble is, I never listen to me. Have a Happy New Year.

    And FWIW, I posted a while back about the narcissism of blogging, which, by its very definition, is narcissistic. So I recommend that you don’t listen to Steve’s advice about being less narcissistic in the future. That’s just bullshit. (Oh, sorry about the language, Steve.)

    • Yes, as you say in your blog, if blogging is narcissistic, then what on earth is facebook? I’m also encouraged by the idea that “The best online journals and blogs keep moving, growing, and changing directions.” Here’s to that!

      • Facebook and Twitter are the very definition of extreme narcissism. Frequent blogging is one thing, but hourly (or minute by minute) updates about what you’re doing, who your with, where you are, what you ate, how much you drank. Seriously, except, perhaps for your mother or father, who gives a shit? Well, unless you’re a celebrity of some sort. And even then, who really gives a shit?

  3. 🙂 thanks for being here you random guy you
    Happy New Year Steve.
    ~ Eric

  4. Interesting and funny. 🙂

  5. Love it Steve! Happy New Year!

  6. Another thought…. I know MY blog is pretty random. What’s wrong with that? 🙂

  7. Random-ness means excitement. What is he going talk about next? I don’t know it’s total surprise! Have a Happy New Year!

  8. That was awesome Steve. Happy New Year!

  9. Steve,
    As a new blogger – also named Steve – I am just so grateful to you for doing so much to lower the bar. It’s a huge help. Thanks.

    What? Too soon? J/K. Have a bloggy new year.

  10. Oversnarked. Sorry. Happy ’14 Steve.

  11. Reblogged this on The Place They Have Never Been and commented:
    Dear Steve,
    In the short time I’ve been writing on this blog, you have sustained me more than anyone. You always comment on anything I write and I am very grateful for it.
    So, I decided to reblog one of my favorite blogs you wrote.
    I have to say… it does sound much like a talk I have with myself every once in a while. Hahaaaa!
    Thank you! 🙂

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