Hand bags, sand bags and man bags

Today I’m answering one of the greatest mysteries of the universe – what do women keep in their handbags?

The answer, of course, is sand bags – what else could possibly make them so heavy and bulky? OK, I know that’s not really very funny.

But wait, before you call me a sexist pig, I have a revelation I would like to share with you – I am now the proud owner of a man bag.

Steve with man bag.

Steve with man bag.

Some of my male friends (I hesitate to call them “men”) feel intimidated by my man bag. They are obviously not fully secure about their sexuality. As for me, I find it very handy. Here’s what I keep in it:

  • My phone
  • My wallet
  • My glasses case
  • Some bits of fluff
  • An umbrella
  • A Walther PPK semi-automatic pistol

Actually, that’s not true. I don’t really have space for an umbrella in it.

No doubt my man bag is woefully ill-equipped compared with my wife’s handbag, and weighs a fraction of hers,  but I feel that I am quietly asserting my equal right to carry unnecessary bulky objects whenever I travel, and that is surely a great step forward for men and women everywhere.

22 responses to “Hand bags, sand bags and man bags

  1. I will occasionally wear a backpack if I’m going somewhere and need more than what I can fit in my pants, shirt, and/or jacket pockets. But a man bag? I don’t think so! Not for me, anyway. And not a fanny pack, either.

  2. I see a nice picture of Steve. But, I can’t see the man bag. 😦

  3. A man bag is totally acceptable…as long as it has manly stuff in it. I’m suspicious of the “fluff”, although the Walther PPK leaves some room for flexibility 😉

  4. We really ought to see a snap of the coveted man bag so as to inspire other man-bag phobes 🙂

    “That’s one small step for a man, a giant leap for mankind”!

  5. I never knew this was any kind of mystery to anyone. Never fear, purse wearing lady-type here: it’s a wallet, keys, phone, swiss army knife, emergency hair tie, and chapstick. Solved!

    Depending on the size of the bag, where I’m going, and how long I’ll be out for, I’ll throw in some combination of a notebook and pen, tissues, altoids, hand sanitizer, ibuprofen, hand lotion, a snack, sunglasses, a sweater rolled up tiny, and a bottle of water. Sometimes shoes for dancing if I suspect there may be jazz afoot. It’s never all of these things, but generally I like to be prepared. And all the judgey types who think carrying a bag is silly /always/ want to use my stuff. Or they ask me to carry things for them, since I have a bag and all. >.<

    I think a much greater mystery is how non-bag wearing people can stand to keep so much crap in their pockets and still sit comfortably!

  6. This was hilarious! I love man purses. You rock.

    Not so long ago, I thought: “What the hell’s in my purse? It’s killing my neck!” So I took a peek. Here’s what I found: A ridiculous granny wallet that my mother gave me stuffed full of business cards, a million receipts (yes…a MILLION), a guitar capo, a manual timer, a planner, an iPod, a Vape, three lighters, matchbooks with phone numbers (which only goes to show how archaic I am), various lipsticks…none of which I wear, car keys, two pairs of sunglasses, a notebook, ten or so pens, a bottle of herbes de provence. Oh, and gum.

    All that stuff remains there. Forever it shall be.

  7. To flip the coin, I never understood where men put all their stuff, until my husband showed me all those ingenious pockets men have both inside and outside their jackets, which we don’t have. If we are talking about gender mysteries, I still don’t understand why men go to the loo together, nor do my daughters. Why do they? I wish someone would explain that mystery to me, because my husband just thinks I’m bonkers. But I really think it is weird not to have your own cubicle like women do. I know I am not the only woman who thinks this, but no one can make sense of it for me. Physical differences aside, I still cannot understand how men don’t find it horribly embarrassing.

    • Interesting question. Because it is normal, it isn’t embarrassing. Embarrassment is surely whatever we are told it is – like the way certain words are rude, but others are not, even though they mean the same thing.

      As for where men carry their stuff, that is easily answered. We get our wives to carry it in their handbags 🙂

  8. What’s in my purse? As little as possible. Wallet keys pen pencil paper hair tie chapstick tissues medicine. That’s pretty much it. And I haul it around as little as possible, too. Congrats on your new purse. I hope you enjoy it.

  9. … and so it begins. It’s only a matter of time before your man-bag starts to collect stuff of its own volition.

  10. Loved this one Steve….

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