How do wasps get into the house?

Today a wasp got into the house. Yesterday, a ladybird. Flies get inside nearly every day. How do they do it?

In winter we keep the windows closed. They are double glazed and airtight. There may be gaps where they close, but they are tiny gaps, much less than one millimeter. They are smaller than the insects. So, how do the flies and wasps and other creatures get inside?

I looked this up on the internet, but there is no explanation, just adverts for pest control and explanations of why they come in. I don’t care why they do it, I want to understand how.

There is one obvious answer – teleportation. All the available evidence points to this. Therefore I conclude that insects can teleport, but no one has ever seen them do it. That is my current working theory.

Am I wrong?

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26 responses to “How do wasps get into the house?

  1. There are creepier things in life than having Jeff Goldblum visit, you know 😀

  2. The trouble is we just can’t stay indoors for ever! Larry Grayson obviously had an answer: “Shut that door!”

  3. I support you in your teleportation theory. Also, they should be stopped! The other day, I woke up, yawned & stretched, hopped out of bed, and stepped directly on a wasp. (Ouch!) I am 100% certain I did not leave that wasp on the floor before I went to bed…teleportation is the only explanation.

    • Ouch! How to stop them though? Lead-lined walls? Crystal energy fields? Quantum-phase amplitude generators? I need to know.

      • I think you should look into some sort of research grant to test each of those things. The world needs to know! 😉 Until then, I’ve heard aluminum foil on the windows can keep out all sorts of aliens and government brain control devices and things…maybe it will work on bugs, too? 😀

        • That aluminum foil theory sounds like a conspiracy intended to conceal the real truth – that the wasps are alien spies working for the government. I will rig up a crystal flux modulator in the bedroom and let you know what happens. Failing that, I find that fly swatters are quite effective.

  4. I have a solution for you—never open the door to leave the house. Short of that, keep a kitchen towel handy. They work better than fly swatters because you don’t have to be so exact in your aim. Often times you can swat just above their flying trajectory and they’ll lie stunned on the ground, then you can swat them for real to end their miserable little existences.

  5. Currently we have no insects at all. Lady Beatrice, ( that’s my cat) kills them all. I pity the fly that dares to enter…

  6. Obviously the insects are hypnotizing you into opening the door for them. They probably had control of you when you typed this post, as part of their plot to distract the rest of us from what they’re capable of.

  7. I’ve wondered the same thing and have to agree with your theory by default! 🙂

  8. When it comes to the lizard I found in an upstairs closet, I really prefer the teleportation theory to the lizard sidewinding into my house, climbing up the stairs, scurrying through the bedroom, and hiding in the closet. Teleportation. Thank you.

  9. Ellen, your observation worries me. I was sure that this teleportation theory applied only to tiny insects. If lizards can do it too, how far does this thing go? What next? Elephants in the attic?

  10. We once had moths (http://bugguide.net/images/raw/1K4KAK7K1KMKOKNQHSAQOKWQVK8KRSUQY0MKOKNQRSXKF0GQD02QA0ZKUKQKV08Q10WQRSUQZSAQZS.jpg). I found out that they were in a cereal box… they were very difficult to eliminate… but it turns out they like the color white… so, a trap was laid. No more old cereal is kept around the home.
    Stink bugs too are difficult – they are good for getting into home. They like to nest inside a storm window between it and a sash window.

  11. The moth that infested our home hatches from larvae in grain storage – pantry moth is a common name. Here is what you may find if you kep some sesame seeds in the pantry long enough. http://www.noordinaryhomestead.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/pantry-moths-sesame-seeds-02.jpg

    • Not very pretty are they? So in this case, the moths hatched as larvae inside the house. I wonder if that’s how the wasps and flies get in too? You might have hit on an answer, here, Eric!

  12. I’m inclined to agree with your theory. I’ve been stung twice by the little beasties. Both times i got into trouble. The first time was when one got inside my boot (double knotted, waterproof etc so teleporting is the only answer). The local bobby witnessed my imitation of a whirling dervish trying to kill it & nicked me being under the influence of mind altering narcotics and the second time was with my ex wife when i taught my son a new four letter Anglo Saxon word. I blame Mr. Spock. Have a great Christmas

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