Fear of aliens

alienAccording to some surveys, many Americans believe that UFOs exist, and that aliens are in league with the US government. Reassuringly, most Americans also believe that Democrats are better placed than Republicans to handle an alien invasion.

But some folks aren’t content to let Obama fight off ET. They are taking things into their own hands and preparing for alien invasion. Yes, they really are. They are American, of course. And they have guns.

The idea is that if aliens invade, the survivors will adopt guerrilla warfare tactics and defeat them through courage and determination. And guns. Lots of guns.

We see this play out in Hollywood movies all the time. It’s a pretty mainstream idea, as the survey results show. But of course this is just plain silly.

Imagine that you are a technically advanced alien race intent on destroying humankind. Don’t worry about why, just go with the story. You’re sitting up in space watching us make idiots of ourselves, and you’re putting together a cunning plan.

That plan does not involve sending squadrons of alien fighters to engage in hand-to-hand combat with a bunch of gun-toting rednecks. Nor does it involve hovering your awesomely impressive spaceships over major cities and waiting to be ambushed by Bruce Willis in a helicopter. Nor are you going to allow some nerd to transmit a computer virus into your mothership using a hacked iPhone, thereby making himself into a hero and getting himself a girlfriend at last.

The aliens, if they’re smart (and they are), would never even land on Earth. They would probably drop some kind of bio-weapon that would kill everyone in a matter of days. Or they would dispatch nano-robots to eat everything alive. Or they would blast the surface with some kind of lethal ray that we don’t even know about. If they were lazy, they could simply divert a large asteroid into our path. They might not even bother turning up to supervise the operation, but instead just send some robots to do it for them.

That wouldn’t make a good movie however. Bruce Willis would get eaten by a superbug. The nerd wouldn’t get laid. And the rednecks would never even get to fire their guns.

8 responses to “Fear of aliens

  1. I don’t know, Steve. The nano-robots eating everything alive might make a decent movie.

  2. The sad thing is that more Americans believe that UFOs are real and that there is the possibility of an alien invasion than believe that climate change is real and poses a serious threat to the long-term survival of our species.

  3. They could conceivably come down to do experiments on us. Of course, any resistance from us against a species capable of travelling interstellar distances would likely be about as effective as monkeys throwing pebbles at tanks.

  4. Bwhahahaha! We Americans are just so bloomin’ silly. 😀 (We’ve been watching Doomsday Preppers on Netflix…now that’s an interesting look into America, indeed!)

  5. Pingback: Fear of aliens | wenisyahputri

  6. I love aliens and can’t wait for them to arrive. Star Trek and stargate are all true… I also love Americans and most of them are not what you call rednecks, though yeah… Too many guns.

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