Lament for Leicester Forest East

xmasThe Christmases preserved in my childhood memories were filled with uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents. I also have recollections of highly decorated (and highly flammable) plastic Christmas trees. There were more mince pies than anyone could possibly eat. And I spent my time unwrapping presents, watching TV and staying indoors out of the cold, although it never snowed.

None of that happens any more. My adult experience of Christmas is completely different.

Because my family and in-laws live in other parts of the country, Christmas is now mostly about long car journeys in inclement weather.

arewethereyet

The location that has become most etched in my mind is the motorway service station at Leicester Forest East, and my most vivid recollections consist of dragging the children from the car, and fighting through torrential rain into its welcoming concrete shelter.

lfe

Leicester Forest East is a historic building. It was built on the M1 – Britain’s first motorway – in 1966 and based on a contemporary Italian design. Can you spot the continental glamour? I fear that some crucial design element may have been lost in translation, or perhaps it’s just the different climate that’s to blame.

I like LFE because its restaurant is located on a bridge over the carriageway, and you can watch enormous lorries and other vehicles hurtling towards you as you eat.

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Originally, the restaurant offered silver service dining. Now it offers McDonalds and KFC, which is evidently what people actually want, not what they pretend to want.

bumper-bucket-kfc

I read that LFE may close in 2017 as part of a junction-widening scheme. Again, this shows what people actually want (to reach their destination quickly) rather than what they say they want (to be served gourmet food in faux-Italian surroundings, while large trucks roar beneath them). But it fills me with a sense of premature nostalgia.

One day, as I zoom along the motorway so efficiently, without needing to stop for infant feeding time or knife-edge toilet breaks, I will think of those Christmases of my middle years, with nostalgia and longing. I will remember the stench of soiled nappies, of greasy burgers, and of diesel fumes. And I will miss them more than I can say.

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12 responses to “Lament for Leicester Forest East

  1. I remember a similar eatery years ago located over a highway. The floors were even ‘glass’. I believe it was called Howard Johnson’s.
    http://www.panix.com/~rbean/oasis/

  2. This has reduced me to tears Steve; poignant, tragic and so very powerful.

  3. I thought people only ate mince pies in Dickens novels.

  4. I think of it as very British, although I remember having them at least once among the homemade dishes at a family gathering in New Orleans many years ago.

  5. Ha, well your post made me feel a lot better. We in the U.S. are not the only ones with a desire for ugliness. (Although I have to admit, we do a better job of uglifying than you guys ever will!)

    There’s a McDonalds in Oklahoma which hangs over the highway. The view is similar, although much less traffic than what you have in your photo (it’s a toll hwy and well known for having highway patrol all over the place, so people avoid it if they can). The McDonalds is probably the best thing about the highway. There’s actually a McDonalds museum in there with lots of interesting retro happy meal toys.

    One of my favorite things about traveling is finding those bizarre little rest stops along the way. I play a game with my husband: Who can find the most ridiculously awful tchotchke-tourist item? We roam the aisles looking at Precious Moments-like figurines, wizards gazing into snow globe crystal balls, scorpions and insects inside lollipops, glittery dolphins, biker things for people who desperately want to look badass…roses and skulls, etc. (You guys don’t have this awesomely tacky stuff, do you?) 🙂

    These certainly tell you what people want here in the U.S.

  6. Scorpions inside lollipops? No mince pies? Just what is wrong with you Americans? 🙂

  7. Hmmm. I’ve never had a mince pie, but just looked them up and they sound tasty.

  8. Yum! Yum! You are missing out.

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