How to find true love

These days there are so many different ways for young people to meet and fall in love. Dating websites. Speed dating. Tinder. But I want to suggest something completely different.

You must first understand that I met my true love long before the internet was invented, so I know nothing about this. Absolutely nothing. However, that needn’t stop me from offering you some sage advice (after all, it never stops anyone else.)

Think of your favourite romantic movies. Where did the guy meet the girl? On Tinder? No. Speed dating? No.

It was in a park, or in a coffee shop, at the waterfront, or in a quirky old book shop. This is where true romance begins in movies. So my advice – hang out in these places and wait for something to happen.

This may take some time, so it will help if you actually enjoy hanging out in these kinds of places. In fact, that is a critical element of the strategy.

So you spend days, weeks, months, probably years hanging out in a place like this, enjoying your own company. Random strangers walk past and ignore you. You think it can’t ever happen. You’re never going to find love. Then … one day … the girl/guy shows up.

You’ll know immediately that this is the one. But despite all those months and years of anticipation of this very moment, you’ll be completely at a loss about what to do.

You’ll be too shy. You’ll be too bold. You’ll say the wrong thing. You’ll say nothing at all. You’ll spill coffee down your front. You’ll walk into a tree. You’ll fall into the water.

But none of that matters, because this is how romance works.

Soon (okay, many years from now), you’ll have the man/woman of your dreams and be happy ever after. I’m pretty sure that’s how it goes.

You see? I told you I know nothing. Ignore this advice.

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35 responses to “How to find true love

  1. Hahaha it was nice to read! I almost believed it!!! Hahah but I liked it 🙂

  2. Cute and silly at the same time. Fun read, Steve. 😀

  3. LOL! Nice job Obi Wan.

  4. An excellent example of why men don’t write advice columns. Well done, Steve!

  5. I think you are onto something. I’ve heard that the produce and frozen foods aisles are prime locations for finding lovers. I found mine across a table in a cafeteria during summer school.

  6. Sorry, did you say something? I was ignoring you…

  7. Great! One more reason to visit bookshops (not that I needed more reasons to visit bookshops) 😉

  8. stop looking for it …it will find you ❤

  9. Add a cute little dog with an amazing personality and instinct for sniffing out hot babes who roller blade (into trees), hipster glasses, and a five o clock shadow that never grows longer somehow, and you’re onto something.

    • A cute dog called Geordie?

      • The dog would have to look like Geordie, for sure, but be trained to do things dogs don’t ordinarily do. Like sniff out hot chics and then get her number for you. Here’s the script:

        Hot chic: “Oh, aren’t you cute!”
        Geordie: (Jumps onto the park bench and puts half of his little warm dumpling body on her lap, which induces her to finally stop texting her friend and look around at the world. Her phone rests slack in her hand.)
        You: (In the background, running.) “Geordie! Come back here!”
        Hot chic, petting Geordie: “Aw, you’re so sweet! Are you lost?”
        Geordie: (Pokes his little wet nose on her hand, then on her phone. Again. Again.)
        Hot chic: “Oh? You like my phone?”
        Geordie: (Shakes his head. This time he taps his nose on the screen and uses his nose to dial you. Yes, this is physically possible. My Geordie plays video games on my iPad with his nose.)
        Hot chic: “Are you…dialing? OMG!” (She says “OMG” out loud.)
        You: “Geordie! Come back here!”
        Hot chic: “Who are you calling?”
        You: (Breathless, slightly sweaty. You jog up to the bench just as your phone rings. You look at your phone.) “Who’s this?” (You answer it.) “Hello?”
        Geordie: “Ruff.” (Looks up at hot chic, then at you.)
        Hot chic: (Hearing Geordie’s bark through your phone…) “Wow! Your dog knows your phone number? How cool!”

        And now you have her number. 🙂

  10. Someone (Patrick Rothfuss, I think) once said that nobody really wants good advice. They just want easy answers.

  11. Awwwww! I so agree with this! I thought I was the only “Stone Age” romantic out there… sigh I think I need some coffee now lol

  12. Great post, Steve.

    True love is the rarest bird in the Amazon… it requires you to be patient and generous simultaneously. Multiplying this recipe by two people often leads to failure of the project, but this is no tragedy. Through many failures we learn, and we get better at recognizing other learners.

  13. There’s a guy at my gym he looks at me and I look at him but I’m afraid to say anything. He probably has a girlfriend.

  14. We shared a smile one day. Another day we exchanged words. That is probably all the progress I’ll ever make but it was nice 😀

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